One of the hardest things to deal with. It is amazing how much you wish it was you instead of you child. How a person could just be so insensitive and just downright mean is beyond me. There is a group of women who sit outside in my neighborhood (I am one of them) we just sit out there on nice days watching the kids play. Well one lady that sits out there has always made a big deal out of one little girl who plays with Hollie. Well Hollie and this little girl play together everyday, so this lady usually will give Hollie a treat when she gives one to the other girl as well as talks to Hollie when Hollie talks to her, and on occasion she has sat Hollie on her knee and talked to her etc. Well Hollie is a very loving child as most of you know, and she really likes this lady she is always running up to her and giving her hugs. So the lady was walking down to the next building and when Hollie and the other child asked to go with her, she told Hollie "no, only Casey can come, not you." Who would do that? I don't even really enjoy children at least not in groups and I would never do that. Anyways so Hollie's heart is broken, she has been crying about it off and on since it happened asking why does she like Casey and not me? Why was she so mean to me? What is wrong with me? grrrrrrr. So of course I tried to talk to the lady because I was so upset, but she just flipped out screaming like a moron, so I had to walk away. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect people to all want to have my child around, but if you aren't willing to take both you should have said no to both of them. Oh well I guess Hollie has to learn that not everyone is going to like you and be nice, I just wish she didn't have to learn it at such a young age. You know the saying mother bear, well in that moment I understood it well. Instinct to protect your young. Amazing thing that is, a gift from God. But the sad thing is, in these situations there is no protection you can give, all you can give is a hug and an I love you, hoping that it is enough to heal the wound.
That is a really good pix of Hollie, very detailed. As for that woman:
ReplyDeleteRomans 12:19-21
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
I would have nothing to do with her in the future but hey I'm not perfect but nobody is! That was just downright disgusting and I wouldn't want Hollie to be subjected to that behavior.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, forgiveness isn't usually that difficult when somebody hurts you, but when someone hurts a person you love? That's when the nasty side comes out.
ReplyDeleteHurt me? I can deal with it. Hurt my husband, my Mum, my Dad, my brother, my sister? I'm on a rampage!
That doubles when you become a parent. "I am MOTHER! Hear me ROAR!"
It makes you feel a sense of comfort when you read all those Psalms that David wrote when fleeing from his enemies (e.g. Psalms 58, 59, 69, and 70, among others). I find it reminds me that feeling angry and vengeful is not sin, but that taking action against enemies is to be left to the Lord.
Ultimately, though, forgiveness cannot be about something that they do to compensate for their sin, because some never will do anything to make reparation, even if they know they did wrong. Forgiveness is something we must give, not only because we are called to do so, but when we hold on to anger, bitterness, and vengeful feelings, they grow and consume us.
That does not happen instantly, of course. But it is a journey, like so much of the Christian life, allowing the Holy Spirit to do His work in us. Not trying to keep Him back from those feelings, but letting Him teach you to forgive (again and again and again), so that we can become more Christ-like, removing every barrier that keeps us from spiritual growth.
After all, He forgave us when we certainly didn't deserve it!
Let Hollie know that it's fine that she's angry and hurt. But also let her know that now you realise that this "lady" is not very nice at all! So it's probably good that Hollie doesn't become close friends with her. She doesn't want to be friends with unkind people, right? (Psalm 1:1) And pray with her, asking Jesus to help her to be able to get rid of the hurt feelings. And thank Him for all her good friends (of every age), because really good friends are wonderful, but rare!
Okay, yeh... so I ended up writing a sermon. This isn't the first time I've slipped into "pastor mode" - and it won't be the last! And on top of that I slipped into "counsellor mode" - telling you things that you already know. Just remind me of this when some such thing happens with me and my daughter, because I'll be so rip-roaring mad that I'll probably forget it all.
I'm going to shut up now! Bye.
Let's get her! Us four against one old grandma? You hold her down, I'll break her legs and blind her!
ReplyDeleteThanks Homeschooler, your right I do know this but ... I actually needed to hear it. It is so much easier to forgive when it is yourself. And I know I have to forgive, especially for Hollie, so she doesn't learn to be bitter and hold on to hatred and anger. I appreciate everyones support. I just have to take a deep breathe and give it to the Lord. I will say one thing I know it was Him who gave me the strength to walk away, I have never wanted to jump someone so bad in all my life.
ReplyDeleteWhat you did was excellent. Because you kept your cool, even in anger, you're being an excellent example of how "grown ups" deal with anger. Those who are mature (or at least striving to be - like me!) can express their anger without screaming/cursing/hitting (even if they want to). The problem with that, though, is that it's hard. Kudos for your self-control. At times like that, I occasionally rant to myself, "I am ____________ (insert one of the fruit fo the spirit here)." It doesn't always help, but usually it does!
ReplyDeleteAs for my preaching... You're welcome to it anytime. In fact, it ends up happening a lot. I try to control myself, but they just slip out!
The problem is I didn't really keep my cool. When I tried to talk to her and she started screaming I did start to yell back, I called her a nasty piece of work. BUT I didn't do it in front of Hollie she was inside. I just happened to come to my senses and walked away, before I allowed it to go any further.
ReplyDeletei congratulate you on walking away there was a time you wouldn't of and not sure I could
ReplyDeletepersonally I think its probably better in the long run for Hollie not to be around someone like her of course that doesn't stop poor Hollie from being hurt :(
I echo Crystal.
ReplyDeleteAnd keep in mind - yelling is better than strangling!